Cast of Characters:
Rapture - Tiefling Barbarian - Me~ - She used to break knees for a local crime syndicate and now she just fucks shit up in dungeons.
Ricardo Esponoza - Drow Rogue - Patrick - Secretly a Stalkurn, but in a fake moustache and with spells.
Bran - Half-elf Paladin - Cody - He's the token good guy.
Rrrrra - Hill Dwarf Cleric - June -
Moss Toe - Goblin Ranger - Richie -
Find the Door
The first thing we have to do is see if we can find the way in. Moss Toe informs us that he has been looking for a week straight and Rrrrra sounds like Lemongrab,
Anyway we finally find doors inside a broken wall of a door. This rock blocked the path behind us as we dove in. The doors lead to nowhere but a cliff face. Now I know why they call this the Tomb of Fuck You.
Rrrrra manages to get us out and we find another door. There are lots of murals and shit, and a mosaic floor with a winding red path on it. We either really do or really do not want to step on those red tiles. So we end up following the red tiles and finding that demon head that everybody is always talking about in this particular dungeon.
We find a bunch of ten foot spike pits and an actual door underneath some paint somewhere after backtracking. There is a lot of Rapture carrying people over pits back and forth. A statue comes to life.
We are now fighting a gargoyle.
Anyway we went through a few more rooms but I'm going to be honest I was talking to a twitter friend and forgot to take down those deets. But at one point something did explode on Rapture. She passed her save and is resistant to fire damage so she was pretty nonplussed.
Anyway then fucking Ricardo convinces Rapture to go into the teleportation room and she ends up a dude with opposite alignment and grabs him by the throat to shove him against the wall and they fight for a little bit but his smug mug is so stupid proud of himself. She goes back into the room until she's female again and ends up naked at the entrance of the dungeon and is not amused by this bullshit because her name already sounds like it should belong to a stripper.
We end up using one of our check points to go back to before that happened. Rapture rips his fake moustache off and then refuses to take him over some pits until he apologizes for being a douchenozzle but eventually the DM decides he's had enough and brights us with his flashlight until we rejoin the rest of the party.
Then we find a room with a fake lich in it and combat begins anew.
We do eventually find another secret room. And there are keys in some acid puddles. Ricardo uses mage hand to get them out but I point out that all the soap I loaded up on at the beginning of the game would have been a base and neutralized the acid.
Somehow we ended up winning and not dying. It was hella fun though, we several times just blundered out of getting insta-killed.