Saturday, February 11, 2017

Player's Log: Frogs and Crap

Happy Saturday! Once again doing the pre-writing for my live blogging of our weekly D&D game while everybody else is leveling. Gonna get right to it.

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Pre-Game Reference Stuff:

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR TYRANNY OF DRAGONS AND POSSIBLY LOST MINE OF PHANDELVER AHEAD.

We left off in the inn where a bunch of cultists were staying, after Nicophel legit killed like 13 of them with a fireball, and are now getting ready to delve into some tunnels and find some awesome loot (hopefully).

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Cast of Characters:

Nicophel Arthainas - Moon Elf Wizard - Me : D - Robed and wielding the Glass Staff of Defense. He's quiet and observant, and considers himself the definition of a subtle wizard. (He isn't.) Nicophel does not like to be spoken to as though he doesn't know what he's talking about. Currently undergoing an alignment shift.

Varis the Illustrious - Elven Fighter - June - Big armored badass, his noble papers are faked, cannot say no to a challenge. He's arrogant and (kind of) short tempered, but unquestioningly strong and an amazing warrior. He's also a fucking maniac that does things like throw dead bodies out of windows.

Stalkurn XVI - Drow Rogue - Patrick - Stalkurn as Stalkurn always is (Yes this is actually the 16th Stalkurn Patrick has actually played; not the same Stalkurn but Stalkurn son of Stalkurn--the one in the Nim books was Stalkurn the 8th so he's a great great ect grandfather of this Stalkurn). His personality traits literally say "Is Great" and his "Ideals" are "To be Greater". His bonds say "I love myself". That should give you an idea of who this guy is.

Iroh - Human Ranger/Fighter - Cody - Really fucking hates dragons and will always kill them. Also a bounty hunter so his other favored enemy is "humans". Is very probably named after the one from "Avatar".

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Tunnels

The tunnel is narrow and damp and muddy and cold. And then we emerge into a cold damn muddy swamp. Our ranger can tell there have been dozens of lizard folk carrying treasure along this route. It's really super wet and we are definitely leaving tracks.

Nicophel lets out the hem of the cloak he stole from a cultist and ties some rocks in there so it drags behind him and erases his footprints. Varis doesn't care about the footprints. Stalkurn pees on one of the trees to mark his territory.

Oh god and it's like unpleasant knee deep cold water much of the time and Nicophel bitches about it the whole way there because fly wasn't able to help him not get wet. Iroh and Stalkurn sneak ahead and Varis and Nicophel hold back as we reach an encampment where everything is still wet and obnoxious. There doesn't appear to be anyone around right now however, but there is food.

We hella take a canoe and continue on.

Well. We were going to and then three canoes with three lizardfolk each in them and Varis makes no attempt at hiding at all. So now there's combat. Nicophel ends up dominating one of the lizardfolk and another one is convinced to talk to us and asks us to come to a castle and fight some bollywogs and take their treasure which Stalkurn is totally down with doing. His name is Snapjaw.

We find out the lizardmen are being treated like shit in favor of the bollywogs and that works out just fine for us because it means they're willing to betray the cult for us. There's a fluxuating amount of cultists but one of the common staples is a man named "Dralmorrer Borngrey" and the cultists seem more fanatical when he's around. Occasionally there is a half dragon that is at the castle but she's not there all the time. He also says there's a man with a bald head and red robes, and an uncountable number of bollywogs and lizardfolk.

The lizardfolk agree to help us if it looks like we're going to win but they don't want to get in trouble. There's a little over a dozen shitty straw huts and there's a castle not far from there with a moat around it. We talk about how to best get into the castle and climbing over the walls appears to be the best bet.

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Castle Crashing

We get inside into this corridor and there are several jumping bollywogs in the hallway we're in. Cue dungeon crawl mode, and again I'm not going to bore you with a bunch of doors and hallways I'll hit you with the highlights rather than the play by play.

We find what was once the priest's living quarters with many sturdy cabinets that have been hacked and slashed open long ago. And there are some cultists in here that haven't noticed us yet. Nicophel just raises his staff and freezes them all to death with a cone of cold. And then we find this AMAZING library but we can't possibly take all the books in it with us but Nicophel super wants like all of them and Varis just wants to go kill more things.

We find out there's a portal under the castle and we find out the command word to operate it is Drazir. At least Nicophel and Iroh do. Meanwhile fucking Stalkurn and Varis start dragging statues behind them across the floor of the castle like baboons and Nicophel's judgement is hard core upon them.

We do find some intense treasure and other people are in the process of gathering some super valuable shit. Stalkurn and Varis are stupid excited. Stalkurn ACTUALLY convinces a bunch of cultists to drag his statues for him by pretending to be a high ranking dragon official.

There's more combat, we keep moving through the castle, Stalkurn at some point ends up covered in centipedes and Nicophel shocking grasps  him to kill the centipedes and also slightly damage Stalkurn but with permission because he can think of no better way to do that.

Iroh convinces Stalkurn to go stand on the glowy circle, and he deduces it's the portal. Iroh says it requires a pass phrase and Nicophel offhandedly says the password is Drazir and accidentally activates the portal sending him elsewhere.

We find the red wizard that I made friends with before, Ezbarra, and he starts talking to us about what he's doing with the cult and confirms for Stalkurn that the woman he's into is, indeed, hot. He does tell us that he planned to broker a deal with Tiamat to take care of the lich that's taken over Thay and we offer to find him something else to help with that problem if he could /not/ let Tiamat be summoned in the first place.

We also find a scroll that's like really super rare and will break if the party tries to move it and Stalkurn and Varis want to sell it but Nicophel is fucking going off on them. Okay we fought about that for an hour I'm not even exaggerating. And then we end up in a fight with a tentacle monster that pulls Stalkurn and Varis under the muck because they tried to jump and Nicophel just spider climbs up into the room without them like a douche bag. Iroh seems to just be irritated that the party strife has gotten this bad.

Anyway Nicophel ends up fighting some spectres and it is actually kind of scary how close he comes to dying but he doesn't, gets the star charts that you can get up there and brings them back for the rest of the party after he copies them down.

We also end up pissing off a bunch like 30+ bollywogs. Anyway we kill their leader and get out of that room, and head through the portal together. We also level. Levelling is always good.

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What I Learned Today: Stone evolutions are a pain in the ass.

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